Living with an Eating Disorder

The biggest misconception with eating disorders is when they are going to go away. As with many mental illnesses, they are an illness, a disorder. When it comes to matters of the brain, many individuals don’t realize that they are an ongoing, life-long battle. I’m not saying that these disorders cannot be treated, or “fixed”, rather that the individual will be challenging their method of thinking indefinitely.

Having a binge eating disorder myself, I can relate completely to unhealthy thoughts in regards to health, food, and happiness. For years, I have told myself that I won’t be happy until my body looks a certain way or until I weigh a specific amount. I can’t be successful if I’m not confident in how I look, so therefore I must diet to get to that ideal image that I have in my brain. A never-ending, losing battle!

The best advice I can offer to anyone with unhealthy thoughts to health, body-image, or nutrition first would be to seek professional help. I by no means am a physician treating individuals with disorders on a daily basis, but I am an individual who faces these unhealthy thoughts constantly.

We don’t have to allow these negative thoughts of self-image run our days, much less our lives, anymore. By challenging myself mentally, I have found the importance of following a well-balanced, nutritious lifestyle. Instead of focusing on what my body looks like now or what I would like it to look like, I’ve had to change my focus on eating consistently (every two to four hours) a healthy meal of protein, nutritious fats and carbohydrates, maintaining stable blood sugar levels. I try to enjoy a balance of various fruits and vegetables, and continually challenge myself to try a new food item with almost every meal. This process helps reduce drops in blood sugar, which in turn reduces my urge to eat unhealthy, nutritionless foods.

Because I have such a high liking to sweets, I have discovered that fruit is a great alternative to the half-gallon of ice cream I used to binge on. Whenever I crave something sweet, I simply prepare a serving of fruit and enjoy the taste, not the “rebellious” aspect of eating something I know I shouldn’t be. Now, you might be thinking what’s wrong with ice cream (or any other sweets for that matter)? Absolutely nothing, as long as you can enjoy them in moderation. Like I mentioned before, I used to binge on a half-gallon, not the typical serving size! As with any sweets, my mind tells me “more, more, more” because I don’t know the next time I will allow myself to have some of that amazing food item I love more than anything. And that is where the excessive dieting and cycle of binge eating repeats itself.

When you binge, you gain weight. When you diet, hopefully, you lose weight. This yo-yo process becomes exhausting and overwhelming, until one day you’ve had enough. Everyday I used to think to myself, how is today going to be different? Today’s the day that I’m going to stop having an eating disorder and enjoy food like a “normal” person. To be quite honest, I’m still waiting for that day ;), but in the meantime I’ll use the tools I have learned to control these urges.

I no longer deprive myself from treats or foods I like to enjoy, I have simply learned how to enjoy them in moderation. I have set goals for myself that mean more to me than the taste of chocolate, and have used that as another form of food moderation. Remember, depriving yourself of foods can lead to excessive overeating, which in turn can lead to weight gain and unhealthy bodyweight. Allow yourself to enjoy your favorite foods, simply do so in moderation, and when your body feels satisfied, simply listen.